Crossing cultures
June 28, 2009 at 7:39 pm | In books, culture | Leave a CommentI’m just dipping my toes in a book that a friend has lent me called “Watching the English”. Very funny to read about our unconscious habits as English. I was wondering how much I still don’t understand the basic rules of the Dutch society. Fortunately the same friend has lent me another book called “Waar Zijn de Bitterballen?”, which roughly translates as “Could you pass me another sausage roll”. Written by a German who has married a Dutchman and settled here. Looking forward to getting started on this second one. My main hesitancy is it’s thick and in Dutch!
As I was reading about the English I got thinking about a homework club that I have recently started getting involved in. There are between 6 and 26 kids turn up, aged 7-11, most of whom are girls, and pretty much all of them from Maroccan families. I’ve been having some trouble striking up conversations with the girls, and I’m not sure why. They seem very reluctant to chat with me, and often will not answer pretty innocent questions such as ‘where are you going on holiday?’. I assume that it’s because I am male and they are Muslim girls. Anyone know? I realised that I am trying to jump two culture gaps in one step. They are Maroccan girls, born and raised in Holland, and I am still trying to figure out the rules of the Dutch, let alone a third culture. What I really need is someone who can guide me in this to show me how to interact with these kids and give me some insights into their cultural norms.
A lesson in cultural differences
November 13, 2008 at 11:16 pm | In books, culture | Leave a Comment
Alles is Liefde
For our 15th wedding anniversary in September, our next door neighbours bought us a very popular film called Alles is Liefde, which translates as Love is Everything. Basically it’s re-write of the British film from 2003, Love Actually, but tailored for a Dutch audience, full of famous Dutch personalities. What is striking though, as a Brit watching an essentially adapted film, is the cultural differences between the two.
OK, so Love Actually is no morally pure film – it features two extras in a porno film, and the Prime Minister falling for his tea lady. However, in the Dutch film, it seems that love, actually, is about jumping in bed with each other. Like the UK film, this one follows several couples in various stages of their relationships. The two central characters, or couples rather, are the promiscuous Crown Prince (quite close to the bone here, given past royal male performances!) falling for a perfume counter girl at a department store – you can see where that one ends up – and a gay couple who are getting married.
When our neighbours asked us how we got on with the film, I tried to be honest but diplomatic. However, what I hadn’t appreciated was that this film is somewhat of a national institution. Dutch blockbusters only appear every couple of years and everyone goes to see them and is bedazzled. This film has never been dubbed into English so I now understand why it got a pretty high rating of 7.4/10 on the Internet Movie Database. Only Dutch people have ever seen it, and they are not exactly spoiled for choice. Although it picked up a best Dutch film award, I would say that if this was a British film it would have flopped.
Our neighbour looked surprised at my suggestion that the morals were somewhat loose. “But that’s typical Dutch,” he retorted.
Watching this film certainly gave Ruth and I much to chat about, both in terms of it’s quality and content. It made us realise how the two cultures see things differently, providing a useful insight.
Feeling fallow
September 20, 2008 at 9:31 pm | In Church Planting, books, family, personal | Leave a CommentFirstly apologies for the long silence – not felt that I’ve had much to say for a while.
This period that Ruth and I are in at the moment is definitely odd and cannot be prepared for. We used to be actively involved in our home church in Manchester, sometimes even over-actively so. Then we went to the rather artificial environment of Bible college for three years where we were stretched and very active, but the word ‘involved’ didn’t really fit as we were so temporary there.
Now we’ve moved to a new place again, with a different language and a different culture. I’m guessing that many of the frustrations we’ve faced, and are facing, are linked directly to a mild form a culture shock. (I say mild, as I still reckon that the Dutch are culturally as close to the British as you get.) However, the hardest thing to get used to has been the feeling of being useless. I don’t mean useless as in having an inferiority complex and feeling no good at anything, but more in that it’s hard to feel meaningfully useful because of the cultural and especially the language issues.
I had this realisation last week as I was rehearsing in my mind the upcoming visit of our church pastor here (our Dominee or Predikant). I was thinking back to all the things that I have been involved with in the past: the ministry experience, all of the gifting that God has given me, my passions for God’s church, and then wondering what happened to all that stuff. I haven’t really had an opportunity to put any of that into practice now for at least 15 months, and some of it for more than 4 years.
Delft, Zuid Holland
And being generally generally unaware of my background emotions (yes, I’m a bloke!) I haven’t really noticed that I’m kind of grieving the loss of all this stuff, albeit temporary maybe. I realise looking back on things that giving out, ministering to people, using my gifts, etc. is really a huge part of my existence.
I remember trying to explain to people before we moved out here that we wouldn’t be doing much for the first couple of years in order to acclimatise, absorb the culture, learn the language and settle the boys in. Indeed, to put a spiritual spin on it for people, it seemed to make sense to liken it to Jesus’ early years before he started his main ministry phase. I did this mainly because I anticipated that people would be excited for us and might be looking forward to some amazing stories of conversions within weeks. Naturally I wanted to avoid any disappointment on their part.
Yet what I hadn’t bargained for was how darned hard it was going to be for me! Now spare getting the violins out just yet, because I still see the huge value in taking this time to focus on acclimatisation. For example, my Dutch language is coming along very well now and I should be graduating from my course in a few weeks. But when will we be able to actually start feeling useful again?
Hopefully, in a few years time I will be able to look back and see even more sense in this time…
P.S. Still dipping in and out of the same book (The Forgotton Ways), might finish it later in the decade!
Why do I go to church?
April 24, 2008 at 9:13 pm | In books, church, family, personal | 1 CommentWhy do I go to church?
I was pondering this question the other night as I was supposed to be going to sleep (when I seem to do much of my meaningful thinking!). I know I have said in the past that ‘going to church’ is a bit of a misnomer as you and I are the church and we merely go to an organised worship service on a Sunday morning. But that aside, what actually gets me out of the door on a Sunday morning to often cycle through freezing cold rain with a bleating family alongside?
Well I came to the conclusion that it is a mixture of factors, with various levels of sense:
1. I’m a Christian and that’s what I’m supposed to do, right? I would probably feel guilty if I just sat at home, though I might avoid this if I spent 10 minutes reading my Bible. Heck, I would (and may even in the future) preach on why it is important to be an active member of a church community. So hadn’t I better be there?
2. What else would I do on a Sunday morning?
3. I’m a missionary and I guess our supporters kind of expect us to be pretty regularly attending a church.
4. I’m intrigued to see how the Dutch people ‘do church’. It’s actually a vital part of my cross-cultural learning and will influence later what we do (and also don’t do) as church planters.
5. Sunday services are an opportunity to worship together, although I must admit I have very seldom felt that I have had a meaningful encounter with God in such a context for the last four years. A very sad admission.
6. Sunday services are when we share fellowship with other. This is one area where our current church is pretty hot. The after service atmosphere is buzzing and many people stay and chat for quite a long time. People have introduced themselves to us virtually every week that we have been there.
7. It is a chance to learn about God, normally via a sermon. Having been a Christian most of my life and going through Bible college kind of spoils this part of a service as most of it you’ve heard before. The last three churches I have been in have had very different sermon styles. One was short and sweet and very variable, though generally mission oriented; one was very Bible-centric and academic; and one was much more lifestyle orientated than expositional.
There are probably more reasons. All this said, I generally find Sunday morning meetings stressful and usually sit there wondering what on earth I am doing there in such a weird environment, so utterly different from the culture that I live in for the other 95% of my week. Surely there’s something wrong there? To my mind church absolutely must be culturally relevant; not totally shaped by the culture, but at least reflecting it generally. I’d rather hear Coldplay in church than another 19th century dirgey Dutch hymn! (By the way, are there any Dutch-written hymns in a major key?)
Just plain cynical? No, I try to keep myself from that and reflect on how I would do things differently. Yikes, soon I’ll soon be trying! I’m currently reading a top book The Forgotten Ways: Reactivating the Missional Church by Alan Hirsch (also co-wrote The Shaping of Things to Come, a recent classic) which is helping me in my thoughts for the future. I’ll report back in more depth on this book at a later date.
Why do you go to church on a Sunday morning?
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